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Living & Surviving in Korea | |
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Various Aspects of Korean Culture
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Korean culture is vastly different from New Zealand culture, and so adjusting to a completely new way of life can leave you a little shocked and daunted at times. Things that make perfect sense to you will not make any sense at all to Koreans, and you will encounter this in all aspects of Korean culture, including your workplace. You have to learn to accept these differences or else you may go crazy! It is important to have a sense of humor much of the time or at least have the tolerance and maturity to cope with these situations. You will often be stared at, because you are white, which you will no doubt find unusual and it may make you feel awkward. You have to learn to not let things like this bother you as if it did, you are destined to have a miserable time. Ignore it and although it will not go away, it won't bother you either. You are in their country so don't attempt to lecture Koreans about what you think is rude or offensive, it isn't how they see it and that's where it ends. You will not be appreciated (even as you nearly vomit as someone "hocks" merely centimeters away from your feet!). This is a country where respect is relative to age, so NEVER be openly rude to elder members of the society, it is wise in all situations to stay calm and ignore what you consider rudeness. You will be much happier if you don't take it personally and not dwell on what you can't change. There are some really nice people in Korea who will for no reason offer you advice or give you a scarf if you are looking cold, and there are some not so nice characters here, it's a big city and no matter where you go, not everyone will be nice. Overall, we have found that the further out from Seoul the nicer the Koreans are to foreigners. We have turned up in tiny Korean villages having missed a train and be taken in and fed by families and then driven to where we want to go! On the other hand though don't blindly trust anyone, be wise and be careful, along the way you will make Korean friends here, who have much to offer and who will teach you about the amazing customs and lifestyles that they have. You will also find there is a large foreign community of many nationalities, all in a similar situation to you, so support is easy to find if you need it, or if not drinking buddies are generally only a phone call away.
The Confucian heritage mixed with earlier shamanistic and animistic concepts, as well as later Western philosophical ideas; it is so ingrained in the Korean way of life that it is hard to tell what is "Confucian" and what is not. This is true for Koreans as well who do not normally think of themselves as "Confucian" - though the natural way to do things may be largely Confucian. This is reflected in social life, in relations between 'seniors' and 'juniors' in school or office, in family life, and between men and women. It is reflected in the social hierarchy, in respect given to the elderly, in the desire for education, in ceremonies to commemorate the deceased, and in the continuing influence of the extended family - even though the nuclear family is increasingly the most common living unit. Filial piety and patriotism are cardinal virtues stressed in school and respect for authority is strong. Group ties are very strong in Korea, and it is expected that the individual will work hard to contribute towards the success of the group, even at the expense of his own personal goals. Yet this does not mean that Koreans are docile followers, and one characteristic of Koreans noted by most foreigners is the strong sense of individual personality Koreans express.
Many communication problems stem from the fact that neither the Korean society nor language is very precise. Many things seem, to us, to be left unsaid, but between Koreans, they are understood. Koreans are known for their negotiating skills, and they often do not look for absolutes, as most things are subject to change. The general attitudes of how to conduct and/or run a business are often one of the most frustrating things for foreigners, especially Americans who have a penchant for planning, forethought and precision. We are raised to be certain and to reject indecisiveness, to follow through with promises immediately, and to have everything follow an agreed schedule; unfortunately, the rest of the world, not just Korea, does not follow our obsession with precision. So, one must be extremely flexible, understanding and accepting of the different way of thinking. You will not do well here if you think that any way different from your own is stupid or wrong. Patience really is a virtue for any foreigner here. Lastly, Koreans are more private than westerners - you will receive less information and feedback than you might like. There is little employee empowerment, positive reinforcement, etc., you will likely receive feedback only when there is a problem.
Instead of going to a table in the dining room or kitchen for meals, family members in traditional Korean homes are served on small portable tables brought in fully set up from the kitchen. The eldest family member sits at the table first, and the others must not take up their chopsticks and spoons until he begins eating. If three generations live under the same roof, the grand-parents will be served their meals separately. Koreans eat their rice and soup with a spoon (which was reportedly first invented by the Koreans), and side dishes and the main course with chopsticks. Chopsticks may be wooden or metal. Do not leave the spoon or chopsticks in the rice as it symbolizes their use by the dead. Knives are used only in the preparation of food, not as eating utensils because Korean food is either pre-cut into bite-sized pieces or is soft enough to be pulled apart using chopsticks. Once the meal has begun, the spoon must not placed back on the table until one is finished eating. When using the chopsticks, the spoon is placed in the rice or soup bowl or leaned against its edge. The chopsticks may be placed on the table when not in use. Dessert nearly always consists of fresh fruit. Lastly, it is impolite to talk much during a meal, it is a time to savor and reflect on the food. Also, no one is excused from the table before the eldest finishes. Do not blow your nose when anyone is present, especially if eating. In many modern-day Korean homes, these rules are no longer strictly observed, especially the one forbidding talking during meals. Many apartment dwellers eat in the Western fashion, sitting on chairs at high, permanently set-up tables. It is also still common in Korea to greet someone by asking whether he or she has eaten yet, which reflects the importance of meals and mealtime etiquette in Korean culture. When drinking together, Koreans pour for each other, offering a drink to the eldest member of the party first. To show respect, both hands should be used when pouring and when accepting a drink. Usually one person pays the entire tab at one place, but the party may do some bar-hopping during the course of evening. The party calls it a night by consensus: Koreans generally do not like to be the first to break up an evening.
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Fortune teller in Insa-dong
Mother and daughter in traditional Korean clothes
Monument between North and South Korea |